


The love that dare not speak its name

by consultingcas



Series: The love that dare not speak its name [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x5 coda, Canon Compliant, Coda, Episode: s10e05 Fan Fiction, F/F, M/M, Post-Episode: s10e05 Fan Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 18:05:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2661371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consultingcas/pseuds/consultingcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the show, Siobhan gets chatting to one of the two mysterious FBI agents. Some of her words might be a little too close to the truth for his liking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The love that dare not speak its name

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling pretty fed up after reading through some of the comments on the TV Guide article about destiel and general fandom wank about destiel shippers being delusional, so this was the result. Hope you like it!

He’d been watching them the whole night. It wasn’t like Siobhan wasn’t used to it. Every so often there’d be some creepy guy getting a kick out of watching her and Kristen being couply in public. It pissed her off every time. There was something different about the way Agent Smith (or whatever his name was) was staring, though. The look on his face, for one thing. If she hadn’t known better, she’d have said it was longing.

Something convinced her to go over and speak to him.  
“So you enjoyed the show after all, then? I know you weren’t overly convinced when you and your partner showed up.”  
“Yeah, I guess it was okay. You guys did a good job.” He looked over at where Kristen was chatting with her family. “Your family not here then?”  
“No.” She looked at the floor. “They don’t exactly approve of this. They’d rather I was a mathlete or something than wasting my time on theatre. And when they found out I was playing a guy…”  
“That sucks.”  
“Tell me about it.”  
There was an awkward pause.  
“Why were you staring at me and Kristen?” Siobhan blurted out suddenly.  
He blushed. “I wasn’t staring…” When he saw how unconvinced she looked, he sighed then continued, “You guys reminded me of someone, okay?”  
“Oh.” It all made sense now. The wistful looks. Longing for someone he loved. “What’s their name?”  
“His name is Cas.”  
“You mean like…?”  
“Yeah. Exactly like Castiel.” Seeing the look on her face, he quickly added, “We’re not a thing or anything. It’s not like that. Hell, I don’t even like guys. He probably doesn’t even see me like that. It’s just, the way you were together, it reminded me of him a bit.”

His tone of voice was just a little too familiar to Siobhan. She’d sounded exactly the same when she was trying to convince herself that it was just a phase, that she only wanted to be friends with Kristen, that she didn’t feel something more.

“I’m bi.” She still didn’t like saying it. Saying it made it real. “I thought I was straight for ages ‘cause I liked guys as well. Then Kristen came along and that was it for me. My parents don’t even know about us yet. They’re Catholic so they’ll probably bust a gut when they find out.”  
He said nothing. Siobhan didn’t even know why she was telling him all this. Maybe it was because there was no one there when she needed to hear it. To tell her that it was okay. That she wasn’t some kind of freak. Back when she hadn’t been comfortable in her own skin and felt that she had to put up an act, that she had to hide part of herself so she wouldn’t lose her family’s love.  
“It wasn’t easy at first. I could just save myself all the worry about how my parents will probably kick me out and just keep to guys. But then, I wouldn’t really be being myself. Besides, I wouldn’t be able to be with Kirsten if I did. I really do love her, you know. Maybe we won’t last forever, but I at least want to try.” She laughed a little. “It’s funny, you know. I didn’t want to do this show at all. Kirsten’s the one who’s crazy about the books so she made me audition. But then, finding out more about Dean, it made me feel better about it all.”  
“What do you mean?” He frowned. “I don’t see how that’d help you. Dean’s straight.”  
“Yeah, right, so his having a male siren is completely heterosexual. Maybe it’s just subtext, but Dean’s bisexual. It’s not even that well-hidden in the text.” Some of the anger she’d been repressing for years started to come through in her voice. “Most characters aren’t bisexual. If they’re anything other than straight, they’re gay. To most people, we’re invisible and I’m sick and tired of it. I’m tired of being told that I’m not important. And seeing Dean go through all that, constantly struggling with the denial I’ve been fighting for years, was something else.”  
“I’m not…I mean, Dean’s not bi. You’re just imagining things.”  
Siobhan really was pissed at him now. “Even if you ignore his blatant love for Cas, I can give you pages of examples of all the times Dean has shown an interest in guys. So quit treating me like I’m delusional, ‘cause I’m not.”

The guy sat there stunned, not saying anything. Just clenching and unclenching his fists, over and over.  
“I didn’t mean to…”He replied, finally, just when the tension was becoming unbearable.  
“I know. It’s just…it’s not a joke to me. Dean and Cas might just be a couple of fictional guys to you, but it matters to me.” Siobhan wasn’t sure if she’d gone too far. He looked pretty beaten up about the whole thing. Her words seemed to have hit a nerve so some kind of explanation appeared to be in order.  
The guy just nodded curtly in response and stood to leave. She thought that was it, but he turned around and said, glancing over at Kirsten.  
“Hey, you look after that girl of your’s. She’s lucky you’ve got the balls to stick up to your folks.” The unspoken words behind the statement were clear.  
“Thanks.” Siobhan hesitated before continuing. “And…you take care of your friend Cas too, okay?”  
He smiled faintly. “Thanks. I will do.”  
He headed towards the door, tapping his partner on the shoulder so they could both head off.  
“Wait!” She called after him and hurried over. The pair looked a little surprised at the interruption, but stopped anyway. “I never bothered to ask your name.” It seemed important to her, for some reason, to know it.  
He glanced at his partner, then seemed to reach a decision. “Dean. My name’s Dean.”  
With that, Dean and his colleague (Sam? Maybe? It’s couldn’t be…) walked out the door. Siobhan stared after them, her head full of unasked questions, and wondered.


End file.
